Tomorrow is the 7th of November, 2011. On the 7th of June, 2011 I went raw and stayed at about 90% raw for two months... or technically until August 3rd, my birthday, when I mainlined Taco Bell, birthday cake and ice cream. It was all downhill from there.
Tonight I texted my raw buddy, K, and told her tomorrow I'm really going to do it again, and I need some accountability. As always she came through, asking me if I had raw groceries and what time I wanted to 'walk together', despite the fact we live in different countries. Thank you, K. You're the best, and it's no small coincidence I kicked off my biggest raw success to date while vacationing with you.
If I were to compare my raw journey to following a trail through the woods, I would have to say it's been a lot like The Blair Witch Project. I've gone around and around and around for almost six years now. I've laughed. I've cried. There's been snot. There's been marshmallows. Luckily no one has died or come up missing... yet.
Still, I am nowhere near ready to give up. Yes, really. So if you're like me and you have not found the raw food lifestyle to be the easiest thing in the world, but you know in your heart that your health and your best self are both worth fighting for, you've come to the right place. It does get easier every day, once you get started. I just have to keep reminding myself.
That being said, I ate two slices of pepperoni pizza and a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough on my way to work tonight... yes, even after I'd texted K. You know, the old OMG-this-is-my-last-chance-to-eat-garbage binge. Couldn't help noticing my chest hurt after that. Any doctor would probably tell me it was my imagination, but I doubt that.
The doctor who did my bloodwork last August was thrilled with my numbers, couldn't believe someone my size had those numbers. I believe his exact words were, "No one would ever guess those were your numbers to look at you." I was excited enough to let the insensitive dig slide. That was right after my two months raw, but also a few weeks after the big birthday derailment, and I'd been desperately trying to get back on track. I was down seventy pounds from the previous year (I've gained back forty of that over the past three months). I was ecstatic that he was ecstatic, and I couldn't wait get back on the raw horse and test again in six months to really dazzle him (Yes, I'm aware of how strange my daydreams have become). Then I watched my Eating DVD 3rd Edition, and realized the cardiologist who'd suffered the heart attack and then healed the damaged artery solely through a plant-based diet... had had better numbers than me at the time of his heart attack... and he was in excellent shape. I am SO not. Although I did run my first 5k in September. I know I watched that DVD, because subconsciously I suspected the doctor who'd run my blood work was going by the SAD standards, which really aren't that great. Deep down I knew while I'd made big improvements, I still had a long road ahead of me.
I'm asking you to join me on this road. I'm asking you to have faith in me because I am going to do this. Yes, I've fallen off the raw wagon thousands of times, but it still makes more sense to me than anything else. For two months I experienced incredible energy, clarity, happiness, peace and weight loss. I felt fantastic even during a bad break-up. It was only after I strayed from raw that the break-up really got me down. I have seen the promised land and it rocks. I have been so high on raw food and free from junk food addictions that I couldn't stand bananas because they were too sweet and heavy... ME, Captain Sugar. I've been obsessed with kale, eating it two and three times a day. I bought a skateboard, then another. I ran a 5k! I am SO going back to the promised land.
For posterity... today I can report rapid weight gain, aching joints, fatigue, a raging case of candida, thinning hair, bloating and gas. I know, I should throw this up on Eharmony, right? Speaking of Eharmony... you've got to check out the dreamy Dr. Ali (rawfooddoctor) and his kale bouquet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmCxR_UcaIM&feature=related These men are out there... we have proof... although I still think they're something akin to unicorns.
Trainer Drew http://www.fit2fat2fit.com/ is about to kick off his fitness journey back from the depths of junk food hell at this very moment as well. While he's not raw (but he does drink spinach shakes), his story is an impressive one, and I'm going to be watching every step of his journey back 2fit. I don't think the poor guy knew what he was getting himself into gaining all that weight so he could empathize with his personal training clients, but bless his heart, I'm rooting for him.
Last but not least, I'm going to try reconnecting with the raw food community tomorrow night. While living in Chicago before, I did attend some raw events, but they left me feeling a bit oogy. I'm not into the whole hippy scene. I was born in 1970. I'm over it. I don't think it's cool or the least bit hot. Sorry, just being honest. It's a huge turn-off for me. I just want to be me and be raw, not join a movement or get some retro Mod-Squad-makeover. The raw food meetup I started in Iowa consisted of people in normal attire of all ages just jazzed about raw - no other agendas, so to speak. Sorry if I'm offending anyone here, not my intention. But I do feel this is important to mention, because it has turned me off many-o-times at raw functions such as Raw Spirit Festival. I love the info being shared, but do I have to wear hemp and join a drum circle? Really not my thing, that's all I'm saying.
As long as I'm being unpopular, might as well swing for the fence... I think dreads should be left to our African-American friends who know what they're doing. When white friends of mine grow dreads, I find myself wondering if there's squirrels nesting in there.
Now that I've lost the only follower I had, a white, bell-bottomed, hemp shirt-wearing, drummer in waist-long dreads... I thank you for joining me on this adventure. I am not here to blow sage smoke up your skirt or tell you how amazingly easy it is to go raw. I am in the trenches, baby, and I'll be nothing but honest. I wish I could say I planned all along to resume my raw journey on the 7th, but it just worked out that way. The truth is I planned to resume my raw journey lots of times, every Monday, every first, every holiday... honestly, almost every day since I fell off the raw wagon. Sometimes I made it until midnight only to succumb to stale donuts at the office during the graveyard shift. Other days I didn't last an hour, but I was always wanting to find my way back to the path.
Apparently eating raw is as easy as taking a nap for some people. I am not one of those people, and definitely not at the outset. Once I get a good running start things begin to change. At this point I am sick-to-death of having sugar and fast food on the brain every waking moment. I can't wait to detox and get my raw brain back. My raw brain could care less about sugar or dollar menus. I'd like to believe the raw me is the real me, the me I was born to be. I don't want to go on living as Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde for the rest of my life. Bear with me through the ups and downs of fighting my way back to the promised land, and I promise I won't disappoint any of us.
Raw is not about deprivation, but about freedom.
No comments:
Post a Comment